Hey Mama

Hey Mama. You are a mom of a two-year old, with one on the way. You are working full time from home, but the pregnancy combined with an attempt to take care of a toddler is draining you and you wish you could get more done. The toddler goes to daycare so you can try to work, but once he is home it is just too hectic. It won’t be long before baby brother is here too. He will be demanding of your time, presence, and body. You know you will be sleep deprived and emotional, making all other matters more difficult. You have no idea how big brother will react to such a big change. You question if he will be okay and you sort of feel sad that he will not understand at first. You tell yourself it will be okay because you know it will. Thinking about all the change and no sleep makes you cry, but not out of sadness, just because your hormones are high. You are worried, anxious, tired, and uncomfortable, but somehow simultaneously you are optimistic, excited, thankful, and oh so ready. You do not know if you should keep the toddler in daycare or if you should/will put the baby in daycare as well. The last thing you need is to make decisions you are unsure how to make, but you will prevail in doing what is right for you and your family.

Hey Mama. You are a first-time mom on maternity leave with your one month old. You say, ‘what do I do’ and ‘I don’t know why’ more than you would like. You are completely changed, and your understanding of motherhood is so different than it was just a short time ago. You realize now what other moms meant when they said you would never fully be ready and that it is completely life changing. It is wonderful, yet so challenging. You are nursing and pumping what feels like every hour. You are pushing your body to keep providing, but you are unsure how long that will last. Your deepest, darkest desire is to crawl in bed for an indefinite amount of time, only waking when you feel ready, but you know that thought is only a fantasy and you cry. The baby cries again and you cry some more. This stage is fleeting, and you already realize you do not remember much from the past month. You are trying so hard to care about anything other than just the life right in front of you, but it’s hard to focus on much else. You did not know you would have to figure so much out. You are thankful for the mothers you know in your life that have gone before you, but even they do not have all the answers now. You will just keep striving to do your best.

Hey Mama. You are a stay at home mom to four toddlers. The oldest is a three-year-old and his brothers are two year old triplets. They cry, they whine, they fight, and they unintentionally hurt themselves on a daily basis. You are exhausted from the constant noise, demands, and responsibilities. And those responsibilities are not limited to the children. You have minimal help which means the amount of activities you can actually do by yourself with all of them is very, very tiny because, well, multiples. The spontaneity of your day has become nonexistent. For instance, no more impromptu family visits, store runs, or dinners out. You feel isolated from the world and have for a long time. You feel sorry for them because they do not get to do as much due to the sheer number of bodies. You deal with mom guilt more than you would ever admit, but with multiples you know in your heart it is inevitable. You consider the day a win if everyone is fed, bathed, and teeth are brushed. You don’t remember what life without a lot of kids was like and miss having just a little freedom. You know you will get some soon and you press on, trying to keep some positivity intact.

This is us, but for every mom, life is overwhelming for a long while. She does not even realize how quickly it is passing until it is gone. She wakes up one day and the baby has learned to roll over, then another day the baby is crawling. The crawling becomes walking, the walking becomes running and then climbing. The cooing becomes actual words, then the cutest babbling, and eventually perfectly enunciated sentences. The bottles become sippy cups, then morph into regular cups. The highchair becomes a booster. The car seat is turned forward, then it too, becomes a booster. The crying escalates to tantrums, then mood swings. Your baby becomes a toddler, then a child, and so on until they are grown and having children of their own. It all passes so quickly. A mother is all the while nurturing, teaching, and praising every little step, no matter what age and phase of life. She has more pride in her child(ren) than in herself and it shows. Moms, be kind to each other, enjoy every stage as much as you can, and start writing the moments down, because you will forget them. Your job will never be done, and you do not get a redo, so we are trying to take it all in, just one day at a time. We should strive to remember all the good, because there is so much of it mixed into our overwhelming days.